Monday, January 09, 2023

Survival


Today, I am reminded. Reminded that this welling up of emotion is not caused by this, now, never-ending rain, but that just beneath my surface, lies the rawness of what I pray time shall remove. You. 

I no longer need to remember your voice. I will not benefit from ever feeling your touch, nor learning the rest of you. Your kiss is redundant. The moments that made your day special, or sad, no longer resonates inside my heart. The collected memories, need to fade into this night sky, for with you, I see that I must, forget it all. I am not able nor equipped to keep the pleasant pieces and play with them on moonless nights, no. I must erase it all to survive this. I must let it all wash away in the river of tears. You and I. Once my world, is now, my hell.  

My energy is now focused on where my socks are, and why are my keys in the refrigerator, again. Did I feed the dogs or pay a bill and the rest of the endlessly dull things that are my life, is now where I let my mind roam. That future that was us, is dissolving, rather slowly, with the passing of time, and I now pray the same time, takes the rest of you away.

5 comments:

Carrie Van Horn said...

This is in all it holds of regret or sorrow is utterly beautiful my friend....utterly beautiful! I am so glad that you are writing again!!!

Thomas Post said...

Thank you so much, I mean that. As we write, I feel we are able to let go of the pain, or reclaim the joyful memories as needed. It certainly helps me. I long to write, to allow my fingers to express my mind and hearts thoughts. Thanks again Carrie, you are truly an amazing person!

Carrie Van Horn said...

You are so right about that Scott! We do let go and reclaim...in the joy and the pain.(unplanned rhyming...LOL) You are very welcome my friend. You write from the heart in such a beautiful way and it is always a blessing for others to receive that from a writer. Keep writing my friend!

Thomas Post said...

You are too kind my friend. Thank you for the encouragement!

Carrie Van Horn said...

I think that is one of the wonderful things about prose and poetry, is being able to get across to the world what is within the heart and soul. I hope that your longing to write will be something that never ends my friend! You are an amazing person too Scott!