50

“Turning Fifty Outside”
A life well spent by S. Redenbaugh

Well, as much as I hate to admit it, fifty is almost here. Only an hour and a half separates me from the start of senility, bad jokes and half priced senior food…..tic….tic….tic…….

The first ten years were bliss, being young and sheltered from the world’s evil; somehow I knew Ward and June were acting and that Eddie Haskell was the crack in the façade.

The second ten years brought many changes, learning to vote, kiss and other things I still enjoy. A failed marriage, a kid and a new relationship that still exists today all have left me a stronger man. Ward and June were replaced with Edith and Archie and the meathead was appropriately named for later in his life. I wanted my MTV.

The third ten years brought many deaths to the forefront of my life; I stepped up and took the reins I was handed. Still very young at heart I started getting complete physicals, and had I known I would have made it this far I would have taken better care of myself. Edith and Archie stepped aside and Homer and Marge took center stage. I changed my political beliefs, learning how wrong I had been.

The forth ten years brought more death, and soon I was without parents, sadly wishing for more time I vowed to spent more time with my son. I excelled in my profession and made money. Homer and Marge stuck around but their luster faded as Wisteria Lane warped our hearts. Seinfeld was about something and a grandson was born. I quit working for the man, and became the man, doing 4.5 million in my 49th year.

So now, where I go is anyone’s guess, but I have learned so much more. I have learned to accept change, but not to enjoy it. I have watched the children of friends become parents.

So, bring it on, inside I’m still that insecure little boy on the vast playground of life, but fifty really doesn’t matter. Sixty is to far away to worry about today, and seventy is a goal. Here’s to everyone who gave a piece of their heart, making me who I am today, thank you.