dirty time in the hills

……..stranded fifty plus miles from the nearest food or water I sit in this truck awaiting rescue, which at best involves my son following very cell phone unfriendly directions given in over twenty five separate calls all the while playing the “can you here me now’s”. Directions given a piece at a time as the cell waves allowed, a few words in each blast of communication, directions given in an insane attempt to guide someone to where even I wasn’t sure was. Twenty miles from a town of three, turning down an unmarked road by an oak tree by a stream with a “bait 4 sale” sign from years ago hanging on the fence. Then where the road forks miles in, trend left on what’s known as “Baker O’Riley”. Going 8 tenth of a mile there’s a quick right up through the shrub oak and on to the red clay slime that passes as a road only when dry. Dropping 500’ in elevation in ½ mile, winding passed the four wheel drive fire truck that now sits stuck and abandoned there comes a sharp left onto a freshly cut “road” which in these parts is code for a guarantee full axel embedment. Sitting just out of view, I’ve spray painted my son’s name on plywood scraps I’ve found that others have left behind after suffering the same fate as myself, hoping his name and the arrows will allow him to find me before death does. Now 10 hours since I ate my stomach suggests to my hands to throw rocks at the hundreds of deer that graze all around me.

I had done well down this road, made it to the very end, then making a 37 point turn to keep from getting stuck. I had even parked and walked the 2 acres fairly well, but as I drove out I made a huge mistake, I stopped again to look at some flagging tape marking a lower boundary, and its was at that very moment I knew I had made a poor choice. As I attempt to go forward the embankment started to give way and the drivers side front wheel sank into a puddle of slime, red clay slime. The bed of the truck ended 6” from the post the gate hinged off of.

For over three hours I used every stick, rock board and even “tee” rail fence posts to wedge under the wheels, hoping I might be able to back up. Now covered in mud from head to toe, 35 attempts late, it starts to rain and I know I have only a few minutes before self rescue is anything more than a pipe dream. At three o’clock straight up and down the impossible happened, no, but my cell phone rang and I explained to Tracey at my office what I needed and why. The clouds seemed to have caused the cell signals to work very sporadically, yet my “XM” satellite stereo system showed a “no Signal” display, something they guarantee would never happen. As the rain slowed a bit and with the knowledge the cavalry was on its way I sat out with digital camera and snapped 92 photos of moss, rocks and strange things to even me. When I returned to the truck I realized that it had slide 2 more inches towards the gate post and that the frame under the truck was now resting on slime.
So I now sit here awaiting someone to come to my aide and write. Tell everyone I loved them, I’m just thankful I won’t have to gnaw off a body part before I go…………………………………………………………